All I want to do today is look back at the last 2 years and reminisce about the best time of my life. I want to look at every photo taken and remember every little detail of bringing up such a sweet and crazy little girl. I can still remember being scared out of my mind bringing home a newborn with the realization of having to keep this little girl alive and well… with no practice or formal education. We were clueless. Ada slept in a co-sleeper next to me for the first 6 weeks or so, and I struggled every night in the dark to feed her with the help of a rubbery nipple guard that she just couldn’t eat without. I would wake up in puddles of milk from being engorged or maybe sleeping through a feeding. I breastfed for a whole year and yet it seems so distant now and like it was just such a short period of time. Looking back at photos we took, I can remember better how she looked when she would just look up at me and stare while I fed her, how freakishly long her eyelashes were, how her entire face and smile has changed so much. I don’t know about you, but my memory is not good enough to bring back all of these feelings and memories without photos. Maybe I am just a very visual person.
Perhaps I’ve been too busy capturing the memories of our life and all of my client’s lives over the last 2 years, but I have no photos printed out (except the few on my walls), and no albums made. The last scrapbook I made was about my pregnancy and it has Ada’s ultrasound photos in it. So, the last time I put a photo of Ada in an album, she was still in my belly. I should be ashamed. I am. Do you know how long it may take me to go through all of the photos I have taken (tens of thousands I’m sure) during the last 2 years? I’m scared to find out, but I am determined. First things to be printed are all of my iPhone photos – all of our silly selfies, her sleeping car rides where she looks like a little baby doll, the messy meal times, and every other time I reached for my phone to capture that second so I didn’t forget it happened! This should be relatively easy, since I have them all in one spot on a hard drive. I can’t wait to see them all come to life in the form of a physical photograph and put in an album to cherish. The professional photos are going to be the hardest to gather and print. Every fun ‘outing’ that we went on, I’d bring my big girl camera and take hundreds of photos. I have thousands upon thousands of RAW images that have never been processed – let alone been printed. I hope to be able to work on these over the next few weeks while we wait for baby #2.
Oh, and sorry baby #2, I have been a terrible pregnant mother this time around and have barely any photos of my baby bump and you growing inside of me. It’s different the second time around! I am not all obsessed with the pregnancy like I was with the first. I don’t take a ‘growing’ photo every week, or even every month. I am so busy with my business and taking care of a toddler, that I don’t even have time to shower or get dressed a lot of days. We do have your ultrasound photos and I did manage to frame one of you already! See, we do love you. We aren’t too busy for you. We are just trying to make sure we get as much done before you get here as we can so that we can give you our undivided attention and love when you arrive. I’ve been busy working to make sure you have a roof over your head, instead of keeping a journal of every movement and feeling like I did with my first pregnancy. It’s been pretty much the same ride, so you can refer to that journal if you ever want to know how I felt when you were in there kicking around. You have no name yet, no crib yet, we have no idea what your gender is – so you have no clothes or blankets. But you will be here in 35 days or less! And instead of being all freaked out about having everything perfectly ready for your arrival, I’m just downright excited! I’m confident this time around. I just want to meet you – whoever you are – whatever you look like – whatever we have or don’t have ready… we’re ready!!! Ready for another ride of a lifetime being able to be your parents and guardians and life support. We are ready for the constant work, yet the constant entertainment and never ending love.
I know that you can survive for an entire year with only the breastmilk that I provide for you. I know we’ll need thousands of diapers and wipes because you will have projectile poop and pee several times a day. I know you will have a big sister who will be head over heels in love with you the second she sees you. I know you’ll be just like Ada and have a camera pointed at you every time you smile, sleep, laugh, eat, and play. Sometimes I’ll even capture your crying fits just so you can see what you put us through on those hard days. I seriously don’t leave much to this foggy memory alone. I hope it’s as amazing to you kids as it is to me to look back at every photograph we take of you – 5, 10, even 30 years from now.
I know I am warming my heart today … while Ada naps … by looking back at our adventure together.
I remember my 28th birthday vividly because I have photos to look back at. Ada smiled at me for the first time that day. We were in bed, and she was laying there with lots of baby acne on her chubby cheeks. I got the shot. I captured her smiling at me for the first time with my iPhone. It may not look like much to you, but this is a HUGE moment – even if it is just a little smirk.
and then just two weeks later, it was a full-blown SILLY GRIN SMILE
I think it was that same day (102 weeks ago) that I took these shots with my DSLR.
You know I love doing side by side comparisons, (and of course I was taking photos of Ada this morning anyways to remember my birthday)…. so here’s where we were 2 years ago, and where we are today. Lucky to say the least.